


Everything's Magic

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror!Draco, Character Study, Fear, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Working At The Ministry, auror!Harry, eventual, it's set during another war but it's not specified
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 08:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21158615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Harry and Draco are both aurors and when a colleague is unexpectedly killed during the war, it sets off a whole range of emotions Draco hadn't thought he'd be able to feel.





	Everything's Magic

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-written version of my other "Everything's Magic" songfic, which is a Ricciardo/Verstappen Formula 1 fanfic that deals with the death of Anthoine Hubert.
> 
> The song is "Everything's magic" by Angels & Airwaves

** _And do you ever feel like you're alone?_ **  
** _ And do you ever wish to be unknown?_ **  
** _ I could say that I have_ **

It’s between investigations and potion analyses, between briefings and field days, that it creeps up Draco’s back, settles on his shoulders and seems to spread throughout his whole body, tearing him inside out. It’s between too large king size beds and undercover train rides, between howlers instead of talking face to face, that he feels it weighting him down, consuming and eating him up, swallowing him whole like it doesn’t make a difference anyway.  
The loneliness.

** _And do you ever feel things here aren't right?_ **  
** _ And do you ever feel the time slip by?_ **  
** _ I can say that I have_ **

He knows that it isn’t easy for any of the other aurors either. Finds some comfort in the fact that everyone who’s part of the ministry during this war experiences what he is going through. That they’re all in this together.  
And yet, when he sees Weasley strolling through the corridor on the second floor, with Hermione happily tucked against his side, or watches Finnigan secretly sneaking off into the PR department, he has to wonder if all of them are actually sharing the same kind of loneliness; whether he might just be off a little worse than his colleagues. He tries his best not to drown in self-pity, though. However, he cannot deny that it gives him a certain type of satisfaction to hide away in his office, doors locked and all smiles gone from his face.  
If he was a better person, he would probably talk to the others about what he’s feeling. He would ask them if they have experienced the same troubles, would encourage them to open up about it and exchange advice.  
But he also cannot deny the truth that he simply does not _care_ about how the other guys feel about being alone all the fucking time.  
There is no time to care when he’s unable to get over the fact that there is one person’s loneliness that he _does_ care about, _fiercely_, _unintentionally_ and yet undeniably.  
He hates it, wants to punch a goddamn wall or preferably, _his face_ each time that he walks by with his hood up and headphones on, that unreadable look on his face that leaves too much to Draco’s interpretation.  
He hates how he worries all the fucking time, how he thinks things like “Did he get enough sleep last night?” or “has he been feeling lonely?”

** _And I can say that I have_ **

It’s different when he’s out on his broom.  
Flying has always been his way to escape, his happy place, the one thing that makes him feel over the moon. Feeling free, that’s what he lives for, what he breathes every day and night. Flying is what sets his heart into motion and keeps it running. It is what reduces his thoughts to a minimum, what makes his mind go blank and entirely focused on the next turn, the next straight, on nothing but the speed and the adrenaline that’s shooting through his body.

****_So hear this please_  
And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly  
And look for the stars as the sun goes down  
**Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound**  
_Everything, everything's magic_

Seeing the world from above is like magic to him. It’s the one thing that makes him feel like he hadn’t had to sacrifice all parts of his life.

** _Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight_ **  
** _ Prepare for the best and the fastest ride_ **  
** _ And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine_ **  
** _ Everything, everything's magic_ **

Flying is Draco’s happy place until it’s not.

Longbottom’s death hits them all out of nowhere, despite the knowledge that they’re putting everything on the risk each time that they fly out for another mission, for another battle.  
It makes Draco feel like he can’t breathe, like he will never be happy with his work again. And it makes him question if he should ever get back to it again or if the fear will now always be there in the back of his mind, whispering awful nothings into his ear.  
In the end, he learns that it is something he can deal with. Something he _has_ to deal with. Learns that he can be stronger than his fears, that there are reasons why they are all committed to this path, so much that they’re risking it all for it.  
What he cannot deal with, whatsoever, is the fear that makes him feel like someone has wrapped their hand right around his heart and started squeezing. The fear that shakes him to the core when he sees _his_ broom swaying for just the blink of an eye, as if hit by a curse, back on track before Draco even has the chance to realize that his heart has just stopped beating for the fraction of a moment.

** _And do you ever lay awake at night?  
And do you ever tell yourself don't try?_ **

It’s always worse once the sun has set. Once the troubles of the day are no longer able to keep him busy and he’s faced with lonely apartments, or chambers if they’re out on a mission, that are way too big for one person and yet too small to keep all the anxiety that has started to built up.  
Draco is not used to fearing for his own life. But he supposes that it is something that he could learn to live with. That it could be just another thing to make him stronger as a person.  
What he certainly _cannot_ learn to live with, because it is against everything an auror should commit to, is fearing for the life of another guy of the team, so much that he’s unable to focus.  
Because it leaves Draco useless, paralysed by how scared he is for the boy, with fingers trembling and lips twitching. It makes him feel like he is out of control, like he’s unable to see the whole picture.  
It also makes him think of all the things he wants to say but keeps back, all the times he was about to do something but backed out in the end, scared of the consequences.  
That is nothing compared to the existential fear that grabs hold of him each time he now sees the other man apparating to join another battle. It’s nothing compared to the pain that fills his chest at the thought of never letting him _know_ before it might be too late one day.

** _And do you ever see yourself in love?  
And do you ever take a chance, my love?_ **

He doesn’t know where exactly the other wizard is staying, only knows they are sharing the same hotel – a few rooms hidden away behind a storefront somewhere in the middle of nowhere - this week, but it doesn’t take him long to find out, anyway.  
Draco’s heart is beating in his throat by the time that he finds himself in front of the other man’s door, his short nails digging deep into the skin of his palms, but it’s fear that suddenly gives him courage.  
It’s the fear of losing just another talent to this job that dissolves his paralysis.  
When the door eventually opens up, the Slytherin’s mouth is dry while his palms are sweaty, blood rushing in his ears.

“Draco,” the other man says, and it’s a soft sound, it is barely more than a whisper and Draco does not know what to make of it, wants to shake the other one and pull him close at the very same time. Wants to pull him in and never let go, never let him go on another mission ever again.  
“Potter,” he echoes, because there really isn’t much more to say, or at least his brain isn’t able to come up with anything.  
And just the way Potter is standing there, one hand touching the door, the other one falling down onto his side, while he seems somewhat surprised to see Draco, is a little too much for the Slytherin.  
A pained sob suddenly fills the air and it takes Draco a few seconds to realize that it’s him who has made that sound, his vision getting blurry from the tears that start to fill his eyes.  
“Draco!” Potter calls out, his tone worried, while he pulls the other auror inside, a hand now coming to rest on the other one‘s shoulder.  
“Draco…” he repeats again, softer this time, but Draco can’t even make him out anymore, trying his best to blink the tears away and suppress the sobs that are starting to shake his chest.  
Potter pulls him into a hug without a word and catches both of them by surprise by doing so and Draco, who has kept everything hidden away for what feels like an eternity, is just not able to hold it together any longer.

He feels it crashing down at him all at once; the loneliness, the pain and the fear, making him clutch Potter tightly, squeezing the air out of the other one’s lungs while he curls his fingers into the Gryffindor’s shirt.  
Some part of Draco’s brain notices that he’s crying on Potter’s gear but he just can’t bring himself to care, because as long as he’s holding onto the other wizard, as long as he keeps him close and doesn’t let go, nothing bad can happen to him.  
He buries his nose in the crook of Potter’s neck and draws in his scent, because he’s _alive_, he is breathing and warm against Draco’s skin.  
And Draco feels like he’s about to throw up, all different kind of emotions running wild.  
But instead of actually throwing up, he spits out some words that have been burning on his tongue for months now and once they are out in the open, he has to repeat them all over again, whisper them against Potter’s neck while sobs are still shaking his body.  
  
**_So hear this please_**  
  
“I love you. _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou_.”

** _And watch as your hearts speeds up endlessly_ **

Draco’s heart is beating so fast that it feels like the vibrations are spreading through Potter’s body as well, who has gone stiff in their embrace.

** _And look for the stars as the sun goes down  
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound_ **

And then Potter draws in a breath that he’s not releasing, his arms still warm against Draco’s back.  
“I’m sorry,” Draco breathes against Potter’s skin, still blinking away tears and too afraid to look up, “but I love you, God, _I love you_, I-I needed you to know, I wouldn’t survive if you- if you never knew, I-…”

** _Everything, everything’s magic_ **

Draco hears Potter shift before he sees him, hears him release that breath he’s been holding before he feels a warm hand against his cheek, nudging him to look up.  
He’s staring right into Potter’s green eyes, which are now watery as well and so incredibly beautiful in the soft light of the hotel room, more open than Draco has seen them in months, if ever.  
He feels the Gryffindor’s thumb brushing over his cheek, leans into the warmth instinctively before Potter brings up his other hand as well, cupping his face.  
And while he’s staring right into the Golden Boy’s eyes, he has to think of the times when he was a child, when he had bragged with fighting alongside his father and his friends in a battle one day. When he had been impressed by forbidden spells, some of them ending with images that would haunt him forever.  
It pains him so much that he’s flinching because how _could he_, how could he for one second think it’s safe what they do, that it’s at least safer now than it used to be, now that they’re using modern Muggle technology and have the Saviour himself fighting by their side.  
Because now he’s looking at Potter, inches away from his face, and the thought of having to watch the other wizard leave for a mission again makes him feel like someone has slit his stomach open and started pulling on his insides.  
He feels Potter’s breath on his lips but he’s too scared to do anything, not of the consequences, but of things that go way beyond hurt feelings.  
And Potter looks at him in a way that makes Draco’s insides flutter, that makes him crave the other man’s embrace like he has never craved anything before, not even to hear the words “Slytherin” when he had once taken a seat for the Sorting Hat.  
“I’m scared for you, too,” Potter eventually says, the first to break the heavy silence that has spread, and Draco knows the words mean so much more than that when the other one pulls him back against his shoulder, fingers caressing the Slytherin’s blond strands.  
“I’m scared,” Potter repeats, his voice barely audible and shaky, while they both tighten their grip on each other.  
It’s Potter that eventually pushes Draco into the direction of his bed, where he doesn’t let go of the other wizard either. They curl up on top of the covers, arms wrapped around each other with Draco’s head resting against the Gryffindor’s shoulder.

** _Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight_ **  
** _ Prepare for the best and the fastest ride_ **  
** _ And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine_ **

Potter slides his hand against Draco’s without a word, intertwining their fingers silently and it makes the blond shiver.  
“I had no idea,” Potter says and it makes Draco look up, his vision clearer now, head hurting from the crying.  
“I’ve never been this scared,” Draco whispers, for he doesn’t trust his own voice yet.  
He closes his eyes and holds on tighter when Potter leans down a little in order to hesitantly place a kiss against his temple.  
“And you’re courageous,” Potter says softly, his lips lingering on Draco’s temple, “for telling me.”

** _Everything, everything’s magic_ **

_I’m scared for you, too_.  
The words echo in Draco’s mind when Harry keeps placing soft kisses against his skin and he suddenly has to smile against the other man’s shoulder, for they mean so much more than he could ever express with an “I love you”.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in reading my original version of this fanfic, it's this one; https://archiveofourown.org/works/20553755
> 
> Please tell me about your thoughts on this one and maybe leave kudos :)


End file.
